Using Death As Your Adviser

Good Morning Everyone,

Years ago I had a friend who said, "Use Death as your adviser."

Now normally humans spend as little effort as possible thinking about death. In fact we fear death. Who the heck would spend any time thinking about it? Yet, I found her advice compelling and wise.

The first thought that came to me was that if I were using Death as my adviser, It would change my perspective. Rather than thinking that I had all the time in the world, I would now view my decisions with more immediacy.

I wouldn't procrastinate.

Rather, I'd get off my bumm and start living the life I wanted to be living right now and having the experiences that I wanted to experience. That thought alone coined a phrase for me, This Life is Not a Dress Rehursal. My life is right now, right here. Am I having fun? Am I doing the things I value? Am I meeting and exceeding the ideals that matter most to me - right now, today, with the people and circumstances at hand?

With this more urgent and immediate view of my life, today, this minute - would I choose to pick a fight, say something mean, let my ego lead the discussion, damage a friendship, divide or would I now choose to bring more love into the world?

Using Death as your adviser refocuses you on the priorities and the importance of this minute. What is it that you value with this person? What is it you value about how you feel about yourself? The choice is right now in every interaction: driving on the freeway, in the board room, at family dinner, at the gym, in the grocery.

It has been my observation that those who mourn the passing of loved ones most bitterly are those who have regrets and unfinished business. The regrets are always the lack of love or the expression of that love, which would have required opening the heart, but the ego ruled. Standing on principle, rather than the correct principle of Love, is always cause for regret. And unfinished business with someone is always about not being True to yourSelf.

Of course the premise is that once these people pass from view there is nothing you can do to put things to rights. They're dead, of course, so we presume the opportunity is lost forever to make amends, express that love, or redeem yourSelf.

This is patently unTrue, but we believe that, which makes the pain all the more.

Time to understand death as an integral part of life and use the understanding to live life full out. Love like there's no tomorrow; dance as if no one were watching; and be True to yourSelf.

Thanks for reading!

Kath