A Life Well Done

Hello Everyone,

With the imminent release of my second book, Well Done - A Story of Applied Spirituality, it is irony that a dear friend whose life was indeed, well done, has passed away.

This post is in tribute to my friend, Jack Caldwell and soul mate, love of his life, and wife, Doreen.

Jack was my neighbor in Descanso. He has been wrestling with Parkinson's for quite a few years. In the two years previous to my moving to Ohio, I became close friends with the Caldwells. I would go over and do energy work on Jack and Doreen, but what I got in return was a deep and abiding friendship and the privilege of being in the company of a couple whose marriage I truly admired.

Never did I hear a cross or demeaning word exchanged between them. Neither did one talk about the other behind his/her back. There was no sniping, sniffling or self pity. These two took the progression of Parkinson's in stride, each one adjusting along the way. Jack to increasing confinement and inability to communicate his brilliant mind and thoughts, and Doreen with her increasing responsibilities for his physical care and all the home, financial and business duties. Never did either one of them utter any words of regret or self pity. They fully enjoyed that they were together and appreciated that fully.

The last time I saw either of them was at my farewell party which was hosted in their home so Jack could be there. With all that Doreen had on her plate, it was "no trouble" for her to host 60+ people to say good bye to me. I remember hugging Jack on that last day, knowing I would never see him again in the physical.

But I left him with my vision of Jack: "Jack," I would say to him as I worked on him, "I see you standing on a Scottish Highland in your kilt, playing your bagpipes. You're hair's blowing and so is your kilt. You have a radiant glow on your face, because you're free and happy and well."

Jack died on Wednesday, 9.22.09. That night I heard him playing his bagpipes in my ear. He is home, well, and happy. Although I confess a great sadness that I can't give him a squnch.

Jack and Doreen emigrated from Scotland to America in the 1970's. They were a young couple and his trade was glass. They built a life, a family and a business here in America, in San Diego.

Life goes on, both here in the physical and in the nonphysical. But what a great adventure you had here, Jack! Well Done, indeed. Your life was an occasion, and you rose to it!

Thanks for reading!

Kath

Using Death As Your Adviser

Good Morning Everyone,

Years ago I had a friend who said, "Use Death as your adviser."

Now normally humans spend as little effort as possible thinking about death. In fact we fear death. Who the heck would spend any time thinking about it? Yet, I found her advice compelling and wise.

The first thought that came to me was that if I were using Death as my adviser, It would change my perspective. Rather than thinking that I had all the time in the world, I would now view my decisions with more immediacy.

I wouldn't procrastinate.

Rather, I'd get off my bumm and start living the life I wanted to be living right now and having the experiences that I wanted to experience. That thought alone coined a phrase for me, This Life is Not a Dress Rehursal. My life is right now, right here. Am I having fun? Am I doing the things I value? Am I meeting and exceeding the ideals that matter most to me - right now, today, with the people and circumstances at hand?

With this more urgent and immediate view of my life, today, this minute - would I choose to pick a fight, say something mean, let my ego lead the discussion, damage a friendship, divide or would I now choose to bring more love into the world?

Using Death as your adviser refocuses you on the priorities and the importance of this minute. What is it that you value with this person? What is it you value about how you feel about yourself? The choice is right now in every interaction: driving on the freeway, in the board room, at family dinner, at the gym, in the grocery.

It has been my observation that those who mourn the passing of loved ones most bitterly are those who have regrets and unfinished business. The regrets are always the lack of love or the expression of that love, which would have required opening the heart, but the ego ruled. Standing on principle, rather than the correct principle of Love, is always cause for regret. And unfinished business with someone is always about not being True to yourSelf.

Of course the premise is that once these people pass from view there is nothing you can do to put things to rights. They're dead, of course, so we presume the opportunity is lost forever to make amends, express that love, or redeem yourSelf.

This is patently unTrue, but we believe that, which makes the pain all the more.

Time to understand death as an integral part of life and use the understanding to live life full out. Love like there's no tomorrow; dance as if no one were watching; and be True to yourSelf.

Thanks for reading!

Kath

Death as An Advisor

Good Day All that Is,

It's a perfect day here in San Diego. But then, we have a lot of them. I'd call it an 11 because it's still cool.

So the question is, what are you waiting for? Hmm? I'll add another question to that one: why aren't you where you want to be? Hmm? If you make a list of all the things you think got in your way, re-read it. Now listen. They were all you. All of them.

Life isn't a dress rehearsal. Today is the day. Today is the one you have. That's it. One day at a time is how you get them. Why the lethargy? Over-busy? Doing what you really want to do? Being with the folks you want to be with? Creating that which makes you pleased with yourself? Derailed?

Using death as your advisor is the wisest counselor you could entertain. Think about it. What if just before you plot your day, or say something to someone, or make a plan you asked yourself, "If I knew I were going to die tomorrow, would I do this? Would I say this? Would I think this was really meaningful to me? Would I scratch it pronto? or What then would I move to the top of the list? What else would I say? To whom would I say it? What project would I turn my focus to with full throttle? What would I stop doing? What would I do differently if I had the chance?"

Well, you have today. You have the chance. You have the time.

For me the bottom-line question is: "Is what I am focusing on today, saying this minute, being now going to make me say to myself when I'm heading to the other side, well done, Kath."

No more excuses, no more blame. Just bloody well get on with it! Make love. Create your opus. Play. Make your impact! Take up your bed and walk. Live it deeply and slowly and meaningfully. Bring the fullness of yourSELF to now, to the project, to the conversation to your physicality. Apply your Spirit in every facet of your life. Watch yourself change the way things are done, accepted and perceived because you brought yourSElf to the table.

That is when either/or transforms to "and". That's when solutions show up that no one could have imagined. That's when It IS ANSWERED.

Talk to death today and take its advice....


Thanks for reading! k
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